ten things

ten things from my head; new adventures, things that have moved me recently and some winter reflections…

1. i have strawberry plants to sow this weekend, bring on harvest day…
2. check out lisa, a real, raw and inspiring kiwi blogger at allinthedaze – she rocks!
3. on wednesday i posted to instagram after two weeks. something made me want a break and i am glad i did.
4. i am returning as a homeroom teacher for the remainder of the year as well as continuing my curriculum coordinator role. i am excited but am also wondering how things will change (including my love of writing here).

5. the clutter war is real in our new house. i just continue to wonder how i can find places for everything! i want to declutter so bad and it’s going to happen soon.
6. i was extremely moved by this video. it is emotional and haunting. i encourage you to watch, to share and talk with someone close.
7. since late january i have adopted a pescatarian diet. i feel so much better for the change and don’t miss meat one bit!
8. when visiting family in whangarei last weekend, hubby and i visited the local mart for kimchi and kim. we are happy chappies once again!
9. the last two days have been up to 18degrees here in the bay of islands – SO amazing but classic timing with holidays finishing up after the weekend…
10. it is coming up to 1 year since we returned to nz. it feels like it has gone so fast and extremely slow at the same time. it has been a year of change and new growth to which i am forever grateful.

how are things for you? Anything new?

:: holding on to the good ::

peace seeker

i have suddenly become very aware of a theme that appears in my thoughts recently. this is our third week living in a new place, surrounded by beautiful coastline and new places to explore. i don’t have anything to complain about. at all but what i have noticed is the need for peace…

lots of changes and readjustments make me aware that sometimes the peace i feel is mostly when it’s quiet and i am by myself. but that’s quite rare at the moment! 
i realise that peace can be something that you carry with you. peace is something that can transcend your understanding in that very moment. peace is a choice. 
peaceful moments recharge me. they give me time to be calm and aware of what is going on and my responses to them. it also links to my personality too. 
so because of this need, i am starting to think through some strategies that i can use to keep calm and find peace; no matter the situation. 
here are some thoughts:
  • find a place that calms me. our new deck is one place that is relaxing, overlooking the water and you can here lots of wildlife. 
  • minimalise stuff. stuff stresses me out majorly so we are working on refining what are things we really need and what we can let go, which is helping a lot. 
  • concentrate on my breathing. i breathe heavily when i am stressed, so being mindful of that and listening to my breathing helps to know when i need a moment to rest.
  • choose to see the positives, acknowledge the journey. so often i want to skip the hard parts and bathe in the peace that comes in the quiet times. but like i said it’s a choice despite the circumstances. 
so there are my ideas, i am definitely not there yet but i am working on it. 
i would love to hear your thoughts on this… are you a peace seeker too? how do you find peace in the day to day?
:: holding on to the good ::

rise ::1::

how does it look to rise up? what could i say has changed when it comes to the word i chose here?

i am sharing some thoughts on the word i chose for the 2015 year…

i realise it doesn’t have to be spectacular, it doesn’t have to have a boom and a bang. but all it needs is consistent attention and acceptance.

and courage.

i am choosing to accept who i am, instead of who {i think} others want me to be. and rise, even if it’s slow and steady… i am rising.

i think research shows {but don’t quote me here!} that when any new endeavour is started it is best to start slowly and carefully, to make small significant changes in a way that will assimilate into everyday life. to not hop on and then subsequently fall off the {bandwagon}. i am a classic for going full steam until i lose steam. 
so that’s what i have been mulling over first, as i commit to {rising}. i want to do it in a way that it’s not another thing to put effort into, more an attitude – a choice.
how do you start something new? Full steam or slow and steady?
:: holding on to the good ::

on the last day of 2014

i savour the process of reflection; looking back and discovering choices and decisions that have shaped life and events that have thrust you into new situations to find new things about yourself.

so on the morning of the last day of 2014, i want to acknowledge a year full of deep lows and some highs… to commemorate and acknowledge but also say farewell. i am ready for a new year!

i am usually someone who is subdued about a new year, pretty nonchalant about it but hopeful. at the end of 2014, i am truly ready for a new year, a fresh start and exciting things to come!

what word do you think best summed up 2014?
endure {to remain in existence; last – synonyms include: live on, go on, hold on, abide, continue, persist, remain, stay, survive} it was a year of endurance for me, recalibrating and holding firm. i am proud to know that i reached out for help in my time of need, to key people and to you guys who read here.

what did you do for the first time this year?
i said fare thee well to friends and loved ones in korea and prepared for a new life at home. it was a journey and grief all in itself. i look back on my time in korea with such pride, it was a special time with lifelong friends made to remind me of this.

what is one thing that happened that will have lasting consequences?
for the last five months, it is has been a challenge to know where i fit, applying for jobs and not getting any opportunity. because of the lack of open doors, hubby and i had the opportunity to work at the same school. we are excited about that and also joining the kerikeri community.

was there anything you wish you’d done differently?
i would have reached out to people around me earlier.
i would have weaned my son a little earlier too.

do you have a favourite moment from the year? what made it special?
in july, i visited america with isaiah. having the opportunity to do this was definitely a favourite. being away from hubby was hard but to get the experiences to meet with family and friends was very special. a once in a lifetime opportunity.

what do you most want to do in 2015?
i want to continue to grow and find the things that i am passionate about again. my new role, at a new school is something i know will provide lots of opportunities for that. i want to be a wife and mother that is active, passionate and at peace with who she is.

what do you most want to change about yourself? the world?
i want to minimise the effect of fear on my decisions and choices. i have become cautious and know that i miss out on new opportunities when i let fear in. i know that the world is a big place, so i want to be a great change maker for the world around me and for my son’s world.

what one word do you hope will sum up what you hope to achieve in 2015?
rise {move from a lower position to a higher one; come or go up. synonyms include: make progress, make headway, make strides, forge ahead, come on, climb, advance, get on}

{joining in with maxbellaloves and her end of year questions here} come join us!

ka kite ano, 2014! i am glad you were but also excited to lay you to sleep now. 

i hope you have a safe and special time heading into 2015. happy new year everyone!

:: holding on to the good ::

on the last day of 2014

i savour the process of reflection; looking back and discovering choices and decisions that have shaped life and events that have thrust you into new situations to find new things about yourself.

so on the morning of the last day of 2014, i want to acknowledge a year full of deep lows and some highs… to commemorate and acknowledge but also say farewell. i am ready for a new year!

i am usually someone who is subdued about a new year, pretty nonchalant about it but hopeful. at the end of 2014, i am truly ready for a new year, a fresh start and exciting things to come!

what word do you think best summed up 2014?
endure {to remain in existence; last – synonyms include: live on, go on, hold on, abide, continue, persist, remain, stay, survive} it was a year of endurance for me, recalibrating and holding firm. i am proud to know that i reached out for help in my time of need, to key people and to you guys who read here.

what did you do for the first time this year?
i said fare thee well to friends and loved ones in korea and prepared for a new life at home. it was a journey and grief all in itself. i look back on my time in korea with such pride, it was a special time with lifelong friends made to remind me of this.

what is one thing that happened that will have lasting consequences?
for the last five months, it is has been a challenge to know where i fit, applying for jobs and not getting any opportunity. because of the lack of open doors, hubby and i had the opportunity to work at the same school. we are excited about that and also joining the kerikeri community.

was there anything you wish you’d done differently?
i would have reached out to people around me earlier.
i would have weaned my son a little earlier too.

do you have a favourite moment from the year? what made it special?
in july, i visited america with isaiah. having the opportunity to do this was definitely a favourite. being away from hubby was hard but to get the experiences to meet with family and friends was very special. a once in a lifetime opportunity.

what do you most want to do in 2015?
i want to continue to grow and find the things that i am passionate about again. my new role, at a new school is something i know will provide lots of opportunities for that. i want to be a wife and mother that is active, passionate and at peace with who she is.

what do you most want to change about yourself? the world?
i want to minimise the effect of fear on my decisions and choices. i have become cautious and know that i miss out on new opportunities when i let fear in. i know that the world is a big place, so i want to be a great change maker for the world around me and for my son’s world.

what one word do you hope will sum up what you hope to achieve in 2015?
rise {move from a lower position to a higher one; come or go up. synonyms include: make progress, make headway, make strides, forge ahead, come on, climb, advance, get on}

{joining in with maxbellaloves and her end of year questions here} come join us!

ka kite ano, 2014! i am glad you were but also excited to lay you to sleep now. 

i hope you have a safe and special time heading into 2015. happy new year everyone!

:: holding on to the good ::

who we are publicly and privately

so today i was washing the daily dishes pile, looking out on the garden and listening to ted.com radio {you should try it too it goes behind the ted talks with interviews from the presenters, so fascinating!} and the radio dj was interviewing ted talk researchers on the fact of lying {and as a result cheating} and how sometimes we need to lie.

like {honey, how does this look on me?} better half thinks {does she really want me to tell her what i think?} and sizing up the situation, replies {it looks so good babe!} it’s fascinating to think that there are times in our lives when the truth might be more hurtful than a little white lie, or a protective phrase uttered to make the other person feel good may not be the total truth.

it got me thinking of a situation i randomly overheard in a carpark on the weekend…

two guys were jumping into their car after leaving a store and rejoicing at the amount of money they had left in their account after paying for the purchase, {well, she accepted it didn’t she?} one said, {but how much did she charge us?} the other responded; their body language and conversation showed they were excited at the fact that shop assistant had made a mistake on their eftpos purchase and entered into the keypad the wrong purchase price which meant they got something for much cheaper than it’s original price. i’m not sure about you but that bugged me a bit.

it made me squirm inside that we can make ourselves feel ok when being dishonest, kind of happy to get away with it. and yip, i have totally talked myself around an issue to make it easier for myself to not be completely honest so i am writing this more out of personal conviction really.

telling the truth can be hard and, at times, painful. it’s a challenge to be honest about how you feel or your thoughts on a hot topic if you know someone else may think otherwise or oppose your thoughts. if self and public deception continues, it’s something that becomes easier and easier; in fact it can become so ingrained it can become second nature.

can we take a moment and think about the online social cultures we are involved in too? here’s an extreme example that made me so so sad.

this was a screenshot from march 2013 {taken from my newsfeed which i have kept for this long}. to see this taking place online in such a public domain winded my heart, and the humiliation and judgement was hurtful to read – i could only look at this woman and think she is a daughter, sister, maybe a mother… someone who deserves love and to know she is important and valued. the way this post went, it reminds me of the days when people were tarred and feathered publicly as a way of shaming them {and i purposely didn’t put the owner’s account on the screenshot too}, but nowadays it can be done publicly but behind closed doors… or is it?

there are differing research studies and opinions that say our online selves are far my deceptive than our true selves, but some camps say that our digital identity is developing a greater level of transparency in society; the knowledge that what we put online {is as permanent as a tattoo} can follow us and reflects greatly on our future selves. it’s an interesting thought to consider before posting that little white lie or degrading message when sitting behind your computer screen or device that may seem disconnected from real life, but in fact, says more about you than you may realise.

my teeny bit of guidance around this subject is to consider your online world as you do the real world, is it going to be uplifting, create a harmless giggle or inspire someone? Let’s spread that around. my aim is to encourage others to use these new-found horizons online as way to harness positive self-esteem and who we are – together. it’s what the next generation need for us to do for them.

what are your thoughts on this? anything sparked by this post?

:: holding on to the good ::

who we are publicly and privately

so today i was washing the daily dishes pile, looking out on the garden and listening to ted.com radio {you should try it too it goes behind the ted talks with interviews from the presenters, so fascinating!} and the radio dj was interviewing ted talk researchers on the fact of lying {and as a result cheating} and how sometimes we need to lie.

like {honey, how does this look on me?} better half thinks {does she really want me to tell her what i think?} and sizing up the situation, replies {it looks so good babe!} it’s fascinating to think that there are times in our lives when the truth might be more hurtful than a little white lie, or a protective phrase uttered to make the other person feel good may not be the total truth.

it got me thinking of a situation i randomly overheard in a carpark on the weekend…

two guys were jumping into their car after leaving a store and rejoicing at the amount of money they had left in their account after paying for the purchase, {well, she accepted it didn’t she?} one said, {but how much did she charge us?} the other responded; their body language and conversation showed they were excited at the fact that shop assistant had made a mistake on their eftpos purchase and entered into the keypad the wrong purchase price which meant they got something for much cheaper than it’s original price. i’m not sure about you but that bugged me a bit.

it made me squirm inside that we can make ourselves feel ok when being dishonest, kind of happy to get away with it. and yip, i have totally talked myself around an issue to make it easier for myself to not be completely honest so i am writing this more out of personal conviction really.

telling the truth can be hard and, at times, painful. it’s a challenge to be honest about how you feel or your thoughts on a hot topic if you know someone else may think otherwise or oppose your thoughts. if self and public deception continues, it’s something that becomes easier and easier; in fact it can become so ingrained it can become second nature.

can we take a moment and think about the online social cultures we are involved in too? here’s an extreme example that made me so so sad.

this was a screenshot from march 2013 {taken from my newsfeed which i have kept for this long}. to see this taking place online in such a public domain winded my heart, and the humiliation and judgement was hurtful to read – i could only look at this woman and think she is a daughter, sister, maybe a mother… someone who deserves love and to know she is important and valued. the way this post went, it reminds me of the days when people were tarred and feathered publicly as a way of shaming them {and i purposely didn’t put the owner’s account on the screenshot too}, but nowadays it can be done publicly but behind closed doors… or is it?

there are differing research studies and opinions that say our online selves are far my deceptive than our true selves, but some camps say that our digital identity is developing a greater level of transparency in society; the knowledge that what we put online {is as permanent as a tattoo} can follow us and reflects greatly on our future selves. it’s an interesting thought to consider before posting that little white lie or degrading message when sitting behind your computer screen or device that may seem disconnected from real life, but in fact, says more about you than you may realise.

my teeny bit of guidance around this subject is to consider your online world as you do the real world, is it going to be uplifting, create a harmless giggle or inspire someone? Let’s spread that around. my aim is to encourage others to use these new-found horizons online as way to harness positive self-esteem and who we are – together. it’s what the next generation need for us to do for them.

what are your thoughts on this? anything sparked by this post?

:: holding on to the good ::

six things to do when dealing with disappointment

 a sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations
as you may well guess, i am in a season of transition; moving through to {new ground} or searching high and low for it! it never feels comfortable or safe but it’s definitely inevitable. as i wrestle with the feeling of disappointment i want to share some keys i use to push through. i hope these encourage you or a friend if you are in this place too.

1 **let out the emotions** sometimes feeling like a disappointment is really just a lie glossed over with an overwhelming feeling of crisis. you might need to let out feelings of frustration, sadness, anger or rejection. letting them out through tears, music, poetry, exercise, screaming in a pillow, baking, playing with your pets or laughing with your children frees you up.

2 **commit to doing a special deed or a random act of kindness for someone else** when you shift your focus from yourself to the needs or joy brought out in others if flows back to you. you have created a moment for them, you are important.

3  **gather photos and momentoes of times gone by** these moments captured always help shift you out of the feeling of discontentment; it reminds you of times when you felt complete and uplifted in life. look for those times when you felt fulfilled, energised and excited and soak them up.

4 **be resolute** we all have dreams and ideas and sometimes when things don’t go as planned it is an opportunity to act braver than you feel. commit to revealing your dreams on paper/a blog/canvas, think {if i couldn’t fail, what is my dream?} remember that those who succeed are risk takers, they didn’t let walls they or others built stop them from moving forward.

5 **focus on the possibilities** there is always a shard, a remnant of hope to hold onto. maybe what hasn’t eventuated is really the start of an amazing adventure that you just can’t see yet. maybe you will meet somebody tomorrow that will tell you something that will start you on a journey that you never thought possible!

6 **trust that you have given your best** step back a moment and acknowledge what you have done to get to where you are, so may be what you had hoped has not turned out, maybe your plans have crumbled to the ground but know that right now from what you know and what you believe, you did your best. my motto to live by is {do your best and leave the rest!}

i hope this uplifts you and breaks down the feelings of disappointment you might be experiencing, i sure need to take a dose of this medicine too! disappointment is often a mask for something far greater than we can see right now, push through!

{when you find your path, you must not be afraid. you need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way. ― paulo coelho}

please share your experiences of how disappointment brought new and exciting things into your life. i know it will be so encouraging to me!

:: holding on to the good ::

six things to do when dealing with disappointment

 a sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations
as you may well guess, i am in a season of transition; moving through to {new ground} or searching high and low for it! it never feels comfortable or safe but it’s definitely inevitable. as i wrestle with the feeling of disappointment i want to share some keys i use to push through. i hope these encourage you or a friend if you are in this place too.

1 **let out the emotions** sometimes feeling like a disappointment is really just a lie glossed over with an overwhelming feeling of crisis. you might need to let out feelings of frustration, sadness, anger or rejection. letting them out through tears, music, poetry, exercise, screaming in a pillow, baking, playing with your pets or laughing with your children frees you up.

2 **commit to doing a special deed or a random act of kindness for someone else** when you shift your focus from yourself to the needs or joy brought out in others if flows back to you. you have created a moment for them, you are important.

3  **gather photos and momentoes of times gone by** these moments captured always help shift you out of the feeling of discontentment; it reminds you of times when you felt complete and uplifted in life. look for those times when you felt fulfilled, energised and excited and soak them up.

4 **be resolute** we all have dreams and ideas and sometimes when things don’t go as planned it is an opportunity to act braver than you feel. commit to revealing your dreams on paper/a blog/canvas, think {if i couldn’t fail, what is my dream?} remember that those who succeed are risk takers, they didn’t let walls they or others built stop them from moving forward.

5 **focus on the possibilities** there is always a shard, a remnant of hope to hold onto. maybe what hasn’t eventuated is really the start of an amazing adventure that you just can’t see yet. maybe you will meet somebody tomorrow that will tell you something that will start you on a journey that you never thought possible!

6 **trust that you have given your best** step back a moment and acknowledge what you have done to get to where you are, so may be what you had hoped has not turned out, maybe your plans have crumbled to the ground but know that right now from what you know and what you believe, you did your best. my motto to live by is {do your best and leave the rest!}

i hope this uplifts you and breaks down the feelings of disappointment you might be experiencing, i sure need to take a dose of this medicine too! disappointment is often a mask for something far greater than we can see right now, push through!

{when you find your path, you must not be afraid. you need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way. ― paulo coelho}

please share your experiences of how disappointment brought new and exciting things into your life. i know it will be so encouraging to me!

:: holding on to the good ::

reaching up

our boy is continuing to grow {funny that!} he is two months away from hitting the big two year mark and is now an avid grabber of things. he has some amazing strategies for gathering the things he wants from the spaces above.

i took the above picture quite by accident but it seems to epitomise the feelings i am pondering at the moment.

he is reaching for the future, and it’s happening too fast! he is still so vulnerable {and spirited!}

as his guardians and coaches, we want to hold the future in our hands but we can’t; we can guide and train. it sometimes just takes your breath away with the responsibility and amazing role we get to play as parents. what are we teaching, modelling and encouraging in his little heart?

the answers to these are what we yearn to hold but all we can do is share ourselves with him and be intentional in our wants and dreams.

do you have questions like this?

:: holding on to the good ::