in my mother’s eyes

i heard a song today, a song my friend shared for mothers everywhere and it moved me to tears… such a beautiful song that captures how i feel about my mum…

so many moments, phone calls of encouragement, coming to my music concerts growing up, reminding me of who i was when i really had lost it, pointing out the important things, building my faith, thinking through tricky scenarios, prayer walks along the beach, our memorable trip to taranaki and that goat, giving me away to be married… so many countless moments.

we were a team, when i needed her most she has always spoken into my life and given me reassurance, sometimes thinking i am crazy but giving me confidence any way.

like the song says her hope she gives to me.

please listen, it’s a goodie…


i love you with all my heart mum.

by any other name

so i had a particularly awful start to this week. things just seemed to go from bad to worse. i want to share what happened at the end and what it has taught me…

i felt like i was set up to fail,  having high expectations to just be let down. and when i went to get into the car at the end of the day and i had left the lights on all day, that was just the last straw. my first reaction to times like this is to withdraw, shutdown, internalise.  i just want to escape.

however, this time was different.

after taking half an hour to calm down i decided to press the reset button. i picked up isaiah, put on my walking shoes and took him and our dog for a big walk, chatting and laughing and looking for ducks. we went on a ‘bear hunt’ and found our own ‘cave’.

as we neared our fence line i noticed pink among the green of our overgrown garden, roses had started to bloom and i hadn’t even noticed them before. that really spoke to me, my middle name is rose and it was a quite reminder that there is always something to be thankful for…

cutting some stems off and putting them on the table, i kept them in view as i cooked a healthy dinner and even set the table. a simple, special reminder of goodness among the thorns.

after all the stress and feelings of failure, my response was very different to a year ago… and for that i am even more grateful.

:: holding on to the good ::

ten things

ten things from my head; new adventures, things that have moved me recently and some winter reflections…

1. i have strawberry plants to sow this weekend, bring on harvest day…
2. check out lisa, a real, raw and inspiring kiwi blogger at allinthedaze – she rocks!
3. on wednesday i posted to instagram after two weeks. something made me want a break and i am glad i did.
4. i am returning as a homeroom teacher for the remainder of the year as well as continuing my curriculum coordinator role. i am excited but am also wondering how things will change (including my love of writing here).

5. the clutter war is real in our new house. i just continue to wonder how i can find places for everything! i want to declutter so bad and it’s going to happen soon.
6. i was extremely moved by this video. it is emotional and haunting. i encourage you to watch, to share and talk with someone close.
7. since late january i have adopted a pescatarian diet. i feel so much better for the change and don’t miss meat one bit!
8. when visiting family in whangarei last weekend, hubby and i visited the local mart for kimchi and kim. we are happy chappies once again!
9. the last two days have been up to 18degrees here in the bay of islands – SO amazing but classic timing with holidays finishing up after the weekend…
10. it is coming up to 1 year since we returned to nz. it feels like it has gone so fast and extremely slow at the same time. it has been a year of change and new growth to which i am forever grateful.

how are things for you? Anything new?

:: holding on to the good ::

to my fellow chameleons

i have always described myself as a chameleon with the ability to adapt to my environment. mixing a little wild with the quiet; that’s me.

have you heard the term ambivert before? {as in intro-vert and extra-vert, now ambi-vert!}… well, something tells me if you have the same tendencies as me you might be interested…

i came across this article which opened my eyes and confirmed my ideas of living a {chameleon life}, it just make perfect sense for me!

an ambivert is part intro/extravert and all about balance. i love to be busy and around others but also need my {me time}, even more so since becoming a mama. it recharges me. i have thoughts about wanting my life to be more balanced, more peaceful and i think that is the uncomfortable element that takes place in an ambiverts life…

adjusting to those around you is an easy adaptation to life but can feel a bit overwhelming if your introverted side is not taken care of. ambiverts can have the ability to gauge the temperament of the people around them as they contain both introvert and extravert tendencies. this is why we can be chameleon like. also balancing out a group, if there are too many loud ones, you can bring the calm. but if it’s too passive or frustratingly awkward, you can talk til the cows come home {I constantly do this when i am nervous}!

being in the middle can feel like we want to do everything and nothing, simultaneously. i’d have to say we’re a little {figuratively} messy, find it hard to make a decision sometimes most of the time. wanting to be useful and useless at the same time.

trickiness is if you are preparing for a social outing and you want to be all on you own… who’s with me on that wrestling feeling? your introverted inner voice keeps you guarded but the extravert side saying {don’t miss this moment!}.

to finish, an ambiverts life is full of equilibrium and connection. we often keep the balance and like to fit in wherever possible.

so, are you an ambivert too? or is this all a figment of my imagination?
:: holding on to the good ::

always look at the heart

i inadvertently picked up a hitchhiker the other week and it made my whole day.

driving home from town and isaiah had fallen asleep in his carseat, it was hot and stuffy and his head fell forward while i was driving. i needed to correct that before heading around the windy roads that lead us home. i decided to pull in at {lookout hill} an area the overlooks the whangarei harbour and noticed a figure with a guitar with their thumb out on the side of the road. after fixing my son’s position i decided to head back on my way.

the hitch hiker turned to face me as i was leaving the car park, thinking that i had pulled in to offer a ride. i wound down my window and politely shared that i was only going a little further up the road, initially i was a little weary. i haven’t really ever picked up a hitchhiker {as a child, my dad would do it a lot} you know, looking at the outer appearance and not the heart? dark glasses and a dark jacket doesn’t always mean dark intent. she immediately responded with {it would only make my journey down the line shorter, is that alright?} so i agreed and she jumped into the empty space in the back.

the short distance to my turn off from the main highway to our windy road leading home felt so much longer as she shared why she needed a ride down to auckland, the tragic circumstances of her nephew’s death and the tangi {funeral} she had attended. i immediately said my condolences and encouraged her for making the effort to be with her family even though she doesn’t have a driver’s licence. it was my opportunity to listen really, she was happy to fill up the short ride with lots of chat; hitting on some pretty deep topics. it’s funny how certain social situations can thrust you into a scene that you would never have envisaged before the day began.

as i signalled to the safest place to drop her on the side of the main road for her next potential ride, she expressed the sweetest blessing to me.

{i prayed that i would find the kindest hearts to take me on the way, and you have a kind heart girl.} 
those words pushed into my soul and filled me with thanks. i am not at all endorsing or advocating picking up people on the side of the road but the exchange that i experienced can’t be replaced and i encourage you to look for opportunities to give in to the lives around you.

never look at the outward appearance, always look at the heart. 

:: holding on to the good ::

always look at the heart

i inadvertently picked up a hitchhiker the other week and it made my whole day.

driving home from town and isaiah had fallen asleep in his carseat, it was hot and stuffy and his head fell forward while i was driving. i needed to correct that before heading around the windy roads that lead us home. i decided to pull in at {lookout hill} an area the overlooks the whangarei harbour and noticed a figure with a guitar with their thumb out on the side of the road. after fixing my son’s position i decided to head back on my way.

the hitch hiker turned to face me as i was leaving the car park, thinking that i had pulled in to offer a ride. i wound down my window and politely shared that i was only going a little further up the road, initially i was a little weary. i haven’t really ever picked up a hitchhiker {as a child, my dad would do it a lot} you know, looking at the outer appearance and not the heart? dark glasses and a dark jacket doesn’t always mean dark intent. she immediately responded with {it would only make my journey down the line shorter, is that alright?} so i agreed and she jumped into the empty space in the back.

the short distance to my turn off from the main highway to our windy road leading home felt so much longer as she shared why she needed a ride down to auckland, the tragic circumstances of her nephew’s death and the tangi {funeral} she had attended. i immediately said my condolences and encouraged her for making the effort to be with her family even though she doesn’t have a driver’s licence. it was my opportunity to listen really, she was happy to fill up the short ride with lots of chat; hitting on some pretty deep topics. it’s funny how certain social situations can thrust you into a scene that you would never have envisaged before the day began.

as i signalled to the safest place to drop her on the side of the main road for her next potential ride, she expressed the sweetest blessing to me.

{i prayed that i would find the kindest hearts to take me on the way, and you have a kind heart girl.} 
those words pushed into my soul and filled me with thanks. i am not at all endorsing or advocating picking up people on the side of the road but the exchange that i experienced can’t be replaced and i encourage you to look for opportunities to give in to the lives around you.

never look at the outward appearance, always look at the heart. 

:: holding on to the good ::

expansion

since moving home and working part time, i dubiously began a garden to see if i could at least keep something alive and maybe feed my family healthy stuff. much to my surprise it has brought so much out of me i had lost and i have totally embraced the new found creativity it has brought me.

hubby and i were talking the other night and he said {i think your garden is a picture of you}. it took me back for a minute as i was surprised at such a revelation but in many ways it’s true. i thought to share with you some personal insights on my garden journey and the metaphorical picture it is painting me.

my garden has given me confidence — i began the garden with seedlings from my mother-in-law and some plants brought a long the way, i then grew green beans to seedlings and planted those. now i have doubled the size of my garden and are excited at the possibilities.

i look at the environment and anticipate what is needed. it has linked me to the moment, connects me to the weather and different times of the day when i need to check on progress, fix or maintain something.

it has connected me to my past. my father was a phenomenal gardner and agriculturalist. i remember helping in the garden on long summer evenings with my family… picking fresh peas and checking on the watermelons. it was amazing as a child to see it develop in front of me and share our labour of love with the people in our community.

committing to this past time has resulted in expansion and being proud of creating meals with the produce i collect every evening. a favourite part is seeing the new shoots bud and the expectation of ripe juicy vegies.

returning home and planting roots again here, this venture demonstrates in the physical what is developing in my daily walk. new things are coming!

have you been surprised at what a new hobby or venture has brought out in you? what surprised you?

:: holding on to the good ::

expansion

since moving home and working part time, i dubiously began a garden to see if i could at least keep something alive and maybe feed my family healthy stuff. much to my surprise it has brought so much out of me i had lost and i have totally embraced the new found creativity it has brought me.

hubby and i were talking the other night and he said {i think your garden is a picture of you}. it took me back for a minute as i was surprised at such a revelation but in many ways it’s true. i thought to share with you some personal insights on my garden journey and the metaphorical picture it is painting me.

my garden has given me confidence — i began the garden with seedlings from my mother-in-law and some plants brought a long the way, i then grew green beans to seedlings and planted those. now i have doubled the size of my garden and are excited at the possibilities.

i look at the environment and anticipate what is needed. it has linked me to the moment, connects me to the weather and different times of the day when i need to check on progress, fix or maintain something.

it has connected me to my past. my father was a phenomenal gardner and agriculturalist. i remember helping in the garden on long summer evenings with my family… picking fresh peas and checking on the watermelons. it was amazing as a child to see it develop in front of me and share our labour of love with the people in our community.

committing to this past time has resulted in expansion and being proud of creating meals with the produce i collect every evening. a favourite part is seeing the new shoots bud and the expectation of ripe juicy vegies.

returning home and planting roots again here, this venture demonstrates in the physical what is developing in my daily walk. new things are coming!

have you been surprised at what a new hobby or venture has brought out in you? what surprised you?

:: holding on to the good ::

preparing for the season

connecting

did you know that kimberley from creative chaos has organised a {send us christmas} swap this year? i have never been involved with one of these since it was kind of tricky when living in south east asia, but this year i jumped straight in. in the past my work place has done a week-long secret santa swap to get everyone geared up for christmas so i didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity! entries close on november 10 so it’s not too late to join!

check out the rules here

preparing
being back in nz for the wind down up to christmas is something we haven’t experienced for so long

, we’re excited to have my family at our place for christmas dinner and i thought to share some ideas/preparations on here as the time comes along.

creating
i want to start an advent tradition with our little one, and so i am on the hunt for an idea i can create at home. the focus is going to be on sharing the reason for the season and exploring this together as a family. i really like this peg idea.
searching
as a family unit, we want to create customs and traditions around this holiday so i have been doing some searches and finding inspiration in the following places.
4. typo
are you ready for the {silly season}? is this post too early for your liking? share some family traditions you have at home, i would love to hear them!
:: holding onto the good ::

preparing for the season

connecting

did you know that kimberley from creative chaos has organised a {send us christmas} swap this year? i have never been involved with one of these since it was kind of tricky when living in south east asia, but this year i jumped straight in. in the past my work place has done a week-long secret santa swap to get everyone geared up for christmas so i didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity! entries close on november 10 so it’s not too late to join!

check out the rules here

preparing
being back in nz for the wind down up to christmas is something we haven’t experienced for so long

, we’re excited to have my family at our place for christmas dinner and i thought to share some ideas/preparations on here as the time comes along.

creating
i want to start an advent tradition with our little one, and so i am on the hunt for an idea i can create at home. the focus is going to be on sharing the reason for the season and exploring this together as a family. i really like this peg idea.
searching
as a family unit, we want to create customs and traditions around this holiday so i have been doing some searches and finding inspiration in the following places.
4. typo
are you ready for the {silly season}? is this post too early for your liking? share some family traditions you have at home, i would love to hear them!
:: holding onto the good ::