and by new, i mean look after myself.
in hindsight it’s been a long time coming. i have struggled along trying to balance everything on a ‘me-sized’ plate and things just kept falling off like -friendships, exercise, blogging, creative passions, putting into practise my faith, housekeeping, extra responsibilities at work, giving my best to myself and others.
life just went into a big spiral, a whirlwind and i experienced burn out. burning out where my body just broke down, with panic attacks and i couldn’t get out of bed and function like had before. i felt like i was in a desert and couldn’t keep going.
for me this was where my hubby and i had to step back and really reflect on our life. and i am so thankful for his love and support, that i didn’t need to explain everything. that he could see it and knew that i could not keep going the way i was.
i am never a quitter and my first response was to wait for the ‘fight’ in me to kick in so i could power through. the moment of realisation for me was when i was lying on the carpet with my daughter and didn’t even have the energy to play with my precious girl who was so eager to be with me. that crushed me because nothing is more important than my son and daughter and because i hadn’t been looking after myself, i couldn’t be there with her. as you would pick, the ‘fight’ never came…
i ended up needing to take time off from my job and really slow right down, get my iron and magnesium levels back up and rest. a lot.
now with 2018 starting, new things are on the horizon for me and my family. my hubby has a really exciting opportunity at a school just outside of kaitaia, i am hoping to study and create time for my children and home. i am excited and thankful, that i am adapting, evolving and learning new personal boundaries for myself.
i am glad i could share this with you, whoever is reading… to accept that i couldn’t keep going, and that i can’t do ‘everything’ has helped me so much and sharing it too!
i am free and i am hopeful, i am ready to put my health as a priority and be 100% there for my family who deserve the best from me.
thanks for reading x
:: holding on to the good ::