i felt like i was set up to fail, having high expectations to just be let down. and when i went to get into the car at the end of the day and i had left the lights on all day, that was just the last straw. my first reaction to times like this is to withdraw, shutdown, internalise. i just want to escape.
however, this time was different.
after taking half an hour to calm down i decided to press the reset button. i picked up isaiah, put on my walking shoes and took him and our dog for a big walk, chatting and laughing and looking for ducks. we went on a ‘bear hunt’ and found our own ‘cave’.
as we neared our fence line i noticed pink among the green of our overgrown garden, roses had started to bloom and i hadn’t even noticed them before. that really spoke to me, my middle name is rose and it was a quite reminder that there is always something to be thankful for…
cutting some stems off and putting them on the table, i kept them in view as i cooked a healthy dinner and even set the table. a simple, special reminder of goodness among the thorns.
after all the stress and feelings of failure, my response was very different to a year ago… and for that i am even more grateful.