i am freaking to send this out but it’s time. this is a post dedicated to all my loved ones, the ones who check in with me and don’t hold a grudge when i haven’t responded back straight away.

for those that are going through challenges and the ones who keep on keepin’ on…



withdrawn, withdrew, withfear

withexpectations, withconfusion, withshielding

withgone, withshame, withpretense

withbeing, wither, without

__________________________________________   :: words by clare hubbard ::

an unravelling of how i have been so diffident. pulling away from so many important relationships and people.

it’s an easy trap to fall into but as i navigate through the days, it has dawned on me that it’s not somewhere i really want to stay. it’s easy to feel safer on your own facing the days and keeping it all to yourself. but it’s just not true.

we need people, we need community or we can wither; suffering with our thoughts and battles when all you need is one person to empathise and walk by your side. i realised a while ago i have held a false sense of responsibility over many relationships and it wasn’t healthy. i believed that i had to be a certain way, say a certain thing and have everything altogether. how exhausting!

after a year, i am finally learning to accept things as they are and start to believe for more. my hubby shared something that resonated with me recently {if there is no hope in the future, there is no power in the present}, i was shocked and woken up to the fact i have not held hope for the future for a long time. the future is a little daunting when things are not resolved or haven’t worked out the way you thought it should. i am starting to hold hope in small ways and water it with positive thinking, letting the flood of anxiety wash away {not settle} when things do go sideways or maybe even when i let people down.

i don’t want to wither away to a shadow of myself, to continue to look back at my past adventures/challenges/risks and believe the lie that those were my biggest and best days. i am standing on the truth that withdrawal and the want to hide has been a chance to recharge and build new understandings and empathy for those that are also challenged by this feeling.

it’s mental health awareness week in nz from 5-11 august and the theme for this week is g – i – v – e . this website has loads of links, literature and merchandise, check this out for more thoughts and discussions.

what are your thoughts on this? i would love to chat with you on withdrawal or the ideas of giving our time, words or presence.

much love x

:: holding on to the good ::

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