sitting in a darkened room, my beautiful boy in my arms. swollen tears falling on my baby’s head as i rock him.

feeling like i can’t do anything well; everything falls short.

preparing for what will come next and needing to summon the energy. {these are the best days of my life; being mummy} i tell myself, trying to hold it together. i sure wouldn’t have it any other way but in these past months i have struggled like i have never before with the feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

i am a new working mum, and i’m getting real here with the moments of time where it all seems too much.

i am learning to accept that my imperfect is sometimes perfect for my son, because it’s me that he needs. that my need to be on time for everything can be excused if my son needs me. that it’s ok to share the worries to people, because they have been here and done this. i am learning to trust my instincts and not apologise if something is not how another may think it should be done.

i am learning to take the pearls of each day and hold them close. and to enjoy every milestone with the grace and goodness that He gives me.

so there it is, my realness for today.

One thought on “teardrops on a baby’s head

  1. big hugs clare.
    I am in awe of how well you are doing!
    A working new mum in a whole different country without the social supports we usually have.
    You are doing great.
    And word to the wise….mother guilt NEVER disappears…you will always feel guilty about something! You need to find your sense of humour and relax…its the only way through! Well I find anyway.
    Loves and hugs from afar


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