Today’s been a tough one. I am about to share from the heart. And it may not make sense. But I think I have the guts to press publish…

Recently I have been having echos of my past…

Of my eldest-child lens, the one I looked through a lot. To want everything to be perfect…

… For me to act the peace maker and to smooth things over. To take responsibility. To carry the weight and fix it.

But, inevitably I come up really really short. I know I can’t.

That when thoughts are pummeling like waves rushing in… To take deep breaths and give it to Him.

Things can never be completely perfect. I realize now. I need the ‘peace of God, which transcends all understanding‘. (Philippians 4:7)

And when we don’t know the answers, or haven’t got the solution. He does.

In the deep place I find myself tonight… I listened to these words.

Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there

My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
And You were there

Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

You have Me – Gungor

We may not have the answers  or have our ‘heart in the balance’ but He does.

I’m holding to the truth that, He is always faithful and always good.

My part is to trust.

and petition.

8 replies on “When things aren’t perfect…

  1. Gungor? Did I miss something?? Some kind of cultural reference I missed out on growing up in my media-deprived household??

    BTW We sound so very alike, that eldest child perfectionist need-to-make-things-right thing.
    Heard the MOST amazing sermon this morning by a guy called Alan Meyer; about Amazing Grace.
    The song, written by a slave trader, and the parable of the prdigal son.
    So simple.
    But Gods grace is not ordinary grace.
    Its not a second chance to earn our way out of the pigpen and hopefully a spot as a second class citizen…
    its AMAZING grace that runs to meet us and embraces us AS WE ARE and restores us to the family, not keeps us working as servants to pay off our debt.
    How amazing is that simple story?
    How amazing is that Grace??
    Us eldest children probably struggle with that concept a bit more than most!
    Have you seen the movie, Amazing grace??
    xx

    Like

  2. Gungor? Did I miss something?? Some kind of cultural reference I missed out on growing up in my media-deprived household??

    BTW We sound so very alike, that eldest child perfectionist need-to-make-things-right thing.
    Heard the MOST amazing sermon this morning by a guy called Alan Meyer; about Amazing Grace.
    The song, written by a slave trader, and the parable of the prdigal son.
    So simple.
    But Gods grace is not ordinary grace.
    Its not a second chance to earn our way out of the pigpen and hopefully a spot as a second class citizen…
    its AMAZING grace that runs to meet us and embraces us AS WE ARE and restores us to the family, not keeps us working as servants to pay off our debt.
    How amazing is that simple story?
    How amazing is that Grace??
    Us eldest children probably struggle with that concept a bit more than most!
    Have you seen the movie, Amazing grace??
    xx

    Like

  3. @ PJ – I love the quote – I shared it with Mark today and it was in my prayers… Thanks!

    @ Jacksta x0x

    @ Simoney – Gungor is a band I just discovered! They rock just as PJ says 🙂 Thank you for sharing about the Prodigal son and Amazing Grace… Those words mean a lot. I have seen the movie, it was so moving. Eldest children unite haha…

    Like

  4. @ PJ – I love the quote – I shared it with Mark today and it was in my prayers… Thanks!

    @ Jacksta x0x

    @ Simoney – Gungor is a band I just discovered! They rock just as PJ says 🙂 Thank you for sharing about the Prodigal son and Amazing Grace… Those words mean a lot. I have seen the movie, it was so moving. Eldest children unite haha…

    Like

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